The Power of Forgiveness (Part VII)
Doug’s View on Forgiveness
For me, forgiveness is a beautiful, incredible, and mysterious thing. As a Christian, I treat forgiveness earnestly and humbly. I have forgiven many people in my life. My success and happiness today results from forgiving others and myself for mistakes or wrongdoings. Nobody is perfect, including me. Many people forgave me in the past for my mistakes. I am a sinner, so I found God as my redeemer and savior. I used to have a bitter, angry, and aggressive attitude towards others until I became a Christian. I struggled to forgive and let go for a long time, and I paid a high price for not releasing the anger inside me. My most significant decision was to dismiss my business partners who cheated me with my investment. I transformed from an angry man who thinks of revenge daily to a happy person without resentment. There would be no wars if everyone chose to forgive others unconditionally.
Feng’s View on Forgiveness
I understand the benefit of forgiveness, but I have difficulty forgiving myself. I ran away from home when I was 17, from a fisherman's village to Hong Kong. Soon I fell in with gangsters and became the youngest drug dealer in the community. I sold drugs to high school students and wayward young people, but I didn’t care about their addiction or even their death if I made money. It took a twenty-year prison sentence to make me to feel sorry and regret for what I had done and for the harm I had caused to others. My mother passed away while I was in jail, she spent all my family's money trying to appeal my sentence. My father had a heart attack on hearing the police had caught me. I could not forgive myself for the pain I caused my parents. I still hold that anger towards myself. I am grateful for the discussion here because your site gives me the courage to share my true feelings and regrets about my wrongdoings with and to others.
Pete’s View on Forgiveness
I agree with you on the power of forgiveness. Fundamentally, forgiveness is more for the offended, hurt, or injured than for the offenders because carrying anger and resentment is a horrible and unhealthy habit. Fundamentally, forgiveness is more for the offended, damaged, or hurt than those who caused the harm. Carrying anger, resentment, or malice is not healthy. Hate and resentment can limit the depth of the love you can give and receive. Bitterness makes you live a biased, prejudiced, broken, and defensive life. Your happiness depends on your heart and its ability to forgive and let go. Love and hate are the results of strong emotions and feelings. True forgiveness happens when you are indifferent towards someone regarding a harmful act.
Donna’s View on Forgiveness
I know this may seem weird, but it is true. People do things for all kinds of reasons, sometimes with evil intention. We are all a victim of our biology, sociology, education, beliefs, superstitions, upbringing, geopolitical environment, and the period in which we live. Everything plays a role in shaping our behavior. So much human behavior is tied to these circumstances and influences. Even good people sometimes hurt others. So, please allow yourself to go through the grieving process. It takes time to cleanse yourself from feelings of severe or deep hurt, and you have to let yourself walk through the stages of grief.
To Be Continued.