Why Is Self-Compassion Important to You? (Part VII)
There are many people I openly dislike, but I exercise compassion toward them. My boss is very hateful and greedy, but I depend on this job to pay my bills. I like my accounting job but want to avoid seeing my boss's face. I should stop hating my boss and focus on the job opportunity he offered me six years ago. Thank you for opening my heart to the topic of self-compassion. I realized that I need to be kind to myself before changing my feelings towards others. I agree with you that compassion is a moral duty towards each other.
Everyone should treat and be treated with respect and compassion regardless of gender, race, and status, and in this I include myself. I grew up in a bitter family; my parents fought often, and my brothers hated me. We did not understand compassion for others and self-compassion towards ourselves. I used to feel sad about myself because I blamed myself for my family's problems. I know compassion, especially self-compassion, is an essential human duty and fundamental human right. I have tried to be kind to myself during the Covid-19 lockdown. I have stopped beating myself up as I had done for the past two years. I practice self-talk now; as I would speak to a best friend. I can feel the change inside me, even though I cannot express it clearly.
Allow me to share some examples of what I think is self-compassion with you:
· I have yet to achieve the results I expected at work, but I’ve been working hard, and I’m proud of myself regardless of the outcome.
· I am not wrong when I fight with my boyfriend sometimes because I know such conflicts are a normal part of building a solid relationship.
· Whenever I fail in a task, everyone tells me to “get over it”, but I always feel disappointed and will grant myself all the time I need to reflect.
· I have yet to achieve much, and that's perfectly OK.
· I have made many mistakes, but I have learned greatly from each one.
· I do not resent anyone because people who hurt me are just simple reminders for me to be kind to myself.
Emotional well-being requires a new form of self-care and self-love. My parents sacrificed their self-compassion to take care of eight children. In Mexico, compassion toward oneself becomes projected outwards as an unintentional preferred mode. So rather than tending to their own emotional needs, my parents often give themselves more to their work and to us than they need. My mother had a heart attack last year at 72, and my father was hospitalized after two strokes. My parents worried about everything endlessly without taking a break for themselves. We are not close enough to our parents mentally or emotionally because we ignore their contributions to our lives and enhance their strict expectation of us. I wished they did less for us and instead, gave us a happy family environment.
To Be Continued.